Back to the Fuchsia

There's a pub up the road, The Blooming Fuchsia, that I only go to for important football matches, ie. those involving West Ham in a position of some hope / peril. There are many much nicer pubs nearby, but they don't have football, so the Fuchsia it is. There's usually a dozen or so West Ham fams in there for the games (many of whom are Sikhs, for some reason). It's become a lucky pub, because so far they've always won when I've watched it there -- most importantly, last year's promotion playoff final and yesterday's FA Cup semifinal. I'm a bit alarmed by this development, because it means for them to keep winning I now have to keep on going to the Fuchsia. It's all too easy for these jinx tokens to leap into your life. I'm not really expecting them to beat Liverpool in the final, so maybe watching it at the Fuchsia instead of at home would be a good way to kill the jinx. On the other hand, what if they were to win? -- then I'd have to go there for all England's World Cup games as well, and it's not actually very handy for our new house. How much more difficult could my life be?

Do you have any supporting-team-related superstitions, lucky socks and the like? -- or am I the only one still childish enough to?

Back in the old days

Does anyone recall an old (c. 1996?) Rory Bremner item in which the Queen's inner thoughts were set to the music of Bohemian Rhapsody? I can only remember a couple of lines. "Camilla, no! We will not let him go" was one, but the one which stuck firmest in my tiny mind was the excellent "She's so louche, she's so louche, she could screw a whole quango." You probably couldn't get away with saying that sort of thing about Princess Di these days... Curiously, the Interweb seems not to have heard of it. How suspicious is that?

One of you must surely remember it, and can put me out of my misery by quoting at length?