undyingking (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
undyingking) wrote2006-02-14 01:08 pm
undyingking) wrote2006-02-14 01:08 pm
Entry tags:
Valentine's thoughts
I've always had my doubts about Valentine's Day. When I first heard about it as a kid I thought it sounded really creepy -- you get a card from someone, you don't know who it is, but they love you and they know where you live? The rest of the year round, there's a not-so-nice name for that sort of person, and you can deal with them by means of exclusion orders.
When I was at school the whole thing was a popularity contest: I'm sure I don't need to say what's wrong with that, unless any of you were fortunate enough to be able to look back fondly on smugging it over the rest of the class. In which case, :-p
Depressingly, the same thing seemed to be true to some extent at work, at least for the female staff -- I've mostly worked in publishing, so maybe it's more true in that industry, but there was a definite feeling of "you've got a rubbish boyfriend / girlfriend / whatever" for the poor soul who didn't have a card prominently on their desk -- or, ideally, a bouquet delivered with great ceremony during an important meeting. And if you were single, you'd really be better off not turning up to work that day.
Sending anonymous Valentine's cards is one thing when you're interested in someone and keen to go out with them -- although I still can't really see the point of doing so in such a way that they can't work out that it's you -- but once you're "going steady" or otherwise settled in a relationship, it seems rather different. One person I went out with used to give me a card from her, but also post one anonymously to me as though from an unknown admirer. I found this a bit weird -- how was I supposed to react to it? Yippee, I've got an unknown admirer, maybe I can ditch this shonky girlfriend I'm currently stuck with? Or Sully not my hand, trollop, in the bin with you? Neither seemed very satisfactory, so I ended up just "breaking the frame" and admiring the increasing ingenuity of the elaborate schemes with which she endeavoured to make it seem anonymous. One year I did actually get a genuine anonymous one as well, and goodness did the sparks fly. (Still don't know who sent that btw -- anyone prepared to admit?)
As for overt couples' Valentine's cards, which seem to be supposed to be accompanied by presents of an expensive and not-lasting variety (flowers, chocolate, bubbly), I think I feel about that the way the Quakers do about Christmas -- that really you should be demonstrating your love for one another all year round, and that denominating a special day for it is encouraging people to feel they've done their duty and maybe somewhat neglect it the rest of the time. Anyway, if you insist on making a thing of it, we all already have a special day for celebrating our relationship -- our anniversary. Which has the great advantage that it's a lot easier to get a table in a restaurant when everyone else isn't trying to do the same thing.
So, to sum up, Bah Rose-flavoured-Humbug -- although ymmv of course, do feel free to tell me I'm talking nonsense.
When I was at school the whole thing was a popularity contest: I'm sure I don't need to say what's wrong with that, unless any of you were fortunate enough to be able to look back fondly on smugging it over the rest of the class. In which case, :-p
Depressingly, the same thing seemed to be true to some extent at work, at least for the female staff -- I've mostly worked in publishing, so maybe it's more true in that industry, but there was a definite feeling of "you've got a rubbish boyfriend / girlfriend / whatever" for the poor soul who didn't have a card prominently on their desk -- or, ideally, a bouquet delivered with great ceremony during an important meeting. And if you were single, you'd really be better off not turning up to work that day.
Sending anonymous Valentine's cards is one thing when you're interested in someone and keen to go out with them -- although I still can't really see the point of doing so in such a way that they can't work out that it's you -- but once you're "going steady" or otherwise settled in a relationship, it seems rather different. One person I went out with used to give me a card from her, but also post one anonymously to me as though from an unknown admirer. I found this a bit weird -- how was I supposed to react to it? Yippee, I've got an unknown admirer, maybe I can ditch this shonky girlfriend I'm currently stuck with? Or Sully not my hand, trollop, in the bin with you? Neither seemed very satisfactory, so I ended up just "breaking the frame" and admiring the increasing ingenuity of the elaborate schemes with which she endeavoured to make it seem anonymous. One year I did actually get a genuine anonymous one as well, and goodness did the sparks fly. (Still don't know who sent that btw -- anyone prepared to admit?)
As for overt couples' Valentine's cards, which seem to be supposed to be accompanied by presents of an expensive and not-lasting variety (flowers, chocolate, bubbly), I think I feel about that the way the Quakers do about Christmas -- that really you should be demonstrating your love for one another all year round, and that denominating a special day for it is encouraging people to feel they've done their duty and maybe somewhat neglect it the rest of the time. Anyway, if you insist on making a thing of it, we all already have a special day for celebrating our relationship -- our anniversary. Which has the great advantage that it's a lot easier to get a table in a restaurant when everyone else isn't trying to do the same thing.
So, to sum up, Bah Rose-flavoured-Humbug -- although ymmv of course, do feel free to tell me I'm talking nonsense.