It's an interesting attempt, but for my tastes it doesn't go far enough.
For example:
"Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
...is desperately unclear once "heaven" is not to be taken literally. Is this just his way of saying he approves of people who are so persecuted? And what is "righteous" anyway in the absence of objective morality? The statement starts to read a bit like "People who are persecuted for standing up for things I believe in I find pretty admirable". Which isn't very deep. On the other hand replace the first "I" with "they" and the message is completely different.
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For example:
"Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
...is desperately unclear once "heaven" is not to be taken literally. Is this just his way of saying he approves of people who are so persecuted? And what is "righteous" anyway in the absence of objective morality? The statement starts to read a bit like "People who are persecuted for standing up for things I believe in I find pretty admirable". Which isn't very deep. On the other hand replace the first "I" with "they" and the message is completely different.