undyingking | Kadir-Buxton

This is one of the most interesting sites I've stumbled across in quite a while. If I ever grow up and go slightly peculiar(er), this is the kind of site I want to have. And it all reads so nicely and lucidly, too.

The Kadir-Buxton Jump Start - "All I then had to do was wait until I came across a dead body, and the rest is history."
The Kadir-Buxton Fertility Treatment - "I was with a girl friend, and we thought it would be worthwhile to see if it was feasible to unblock fallopian tubes. When we entered the womb via the cervix, which had to be done very slowly, we found that the womb needs lubricating to avoid immense pain." [NSS! -- ed.]
Alleviating Menstrual Cramps - "With this method no one need know of the discomfort being suffered, and the pain soon goes. Do not try this whilst driving or operating heavy machinery." [This sounds quite plausible actually...]
The Kadir-Buxton Method - "You will find that the Kadir-Buxton Method is also effective against comas and senility, amongst other things." [The best of the lot, you really have to read the whole item.]

As well as the above and more, our esteemed host is responsible for bringing Eastern Europe to democracy, and for inventing charity credit cards, microsurgery, bottle banks and Economy 7. And he has "campaigned against Political Assassination since 1974". With the success that we've all witnessed.

What would your eccentric vanity site be about?